Passion or Workaholism?

Present Sense № 27

Dec 07, 2024

Marina Abramović and ULAY. *Relation in Time (*1977)

Welcome to Present Sense – a weekend curation with 7 sensory recommendations: something to SEE, HEAR, SMELL, TASTE, TOUCH, BALANCE and ENVISION. Scroll below to join next week’s FREE LIVE MEDITATION.

My body is in the horizontal position but my mind is still vertical. I’m stuck in the elevator of thoughts – going up and down, up and down. The lobby level is the past, ruminating on what’s happened the past few days. While the rooftop is the future: planning for the next few days, weeks, or even months. I’m laying the floor plan for 2025.

I’ve been fighting a cold or flu recently. It’s hard to discern what it is as it’s neither had the time to truly develop nor to fully heal – it’s a limbo sickness with the symptoms of fatigue and heavy muscles. I know the root cause though is stress (as often the case).

I spent Thanksgiving break mulling over a work project that came in a couple days before the holidays. Even though I took Turkey Day off, my brain was still working after-hours, trying to solve the equation of deliverables plus budget minus timeline. The variables didn’t add up to a net positive result. Yet I was still willing to try, turning the rubix cube over and over again hoping the colored sides would somehow match.

By Monday morning, I felt spent and the week was just starting. The project didn’t end up happening and that’s probably a blessing. I feel like I dodged a bullet that would have pierced the serenity of the holidays. But my plate was still full this week, so I pushed through, running like a headless turkey, gobbling every item on my to-do list. Somehow I got it all done, but by Thursday I was turning off the lights at 8pm.

Time to rest, my body said. But my mind disagreed. Even though I gave myself a physical break (no swimming, only gentle yoga), I forget – or choose to deny – that my most strenuous activity is mental. Writing, coming up with ideas, and bringing them to life, takes energy.

When people ask how I stay in shape, I jokingly answer: over-thinking. But underneath the humor stands the truth. There’s a collective of hamsters that are constantly running on that wheel of thoughts.

Some of this is part of our human conditioning. It’s the price we pay to the merchant of modernity, which offers convenience, fast-paced living, with a sprinkle of sensory overload. Another part of it is the cost of being a freelancer, or owning a small business. Working for oneself often means wearing many hats: tackling new business development, running the marketing department, and even covering accounting. But it becomes tricky when you don’t know when to take those hats off. Every head needs to breathe, especially at night.

I had a call with a friend recently to discuss whether I suffer from a case of workaholism. There’s good reason to wonder as I’m the daughter of a workaholic. I watched my father dedicate his entire life to his career as an educator. When he wasn’t in the classroom, or running his institute, he spent his evenings watching movies, selecting scenes to share with his students. His summers were reserved to writing books. When we went on family vacations, he’d sit in a long chair with his laptop (this was in the 90’s when traveling with a computer was an anomaly).

Even when his educational institute was operating at a financial loss, and his balance and voice were shaky from Parkinson’s, he continued to conduct it, year after year. His children, his wife, even his colleagues tried to reason him to stop. But he had the will power of a pit-bull with a tight grip on a bone. At the end of his life, when he was laying on his hospital bed, my father wondered out loud: “What was it all for?”

It breaks my heart thinking about it. Especially since I’ve become aware that my own habits match his. It’s not rare for me to work into the evening, until my eyelids get too heavy and signal it’s time to rest. I rarely watch TV, unless it’s something that pertains to my research. I rather read a book because it never feels like a “waste of time.”

I was almost chastising myself for these tendencies, when my friend chimed in: “Maybe you’re just passionate about what you do? There’s nothing wrong with that.”

Does everything need to feel like a productive endeavor? Not necessarily, but I do want to live each moment in a meaningful way. What imbues our life with meaning is different for each person. Watching a TV series may be relaxing for some and there’s no judgement on that. For me, it often leaves me feeling hollow rather than full. I’m discovering that filling my creative cup often involves a book, an art experience, or a spiritual teaching.

I’ve also learned to become more discerning of what creative projects I say yes to and which ones I turn down. Just as there are people that can feel like energy-vampires, the same goes for certain work projects. Needing to make a living is necessary, but breaking myself in the process is an option I no longer want to choose.

Things worth doing often demand effort, but certain efforts can feel energizing rather than draining. The body usually hums a little affirmative song when a project feels right. And it also sends dashes of anxiety when a project is deeply misaligned.

Too much of a good thing can also strain pleasure, or even quality. Which is why I’ve decided that after next week’s full moon edition (my monthly deep dive into a creative topic), I’ll be taking a two week break from publishing. As you can predict, it won’t be a full time-off as I’ll be planning a few exciting projects for Seven Senses…

Those of us who have found a passion that can light us up are happy to keep the midnight oil burning. The thought machine may run on overdrive at times and I need to balance that by immersing myself in art, nature, meditation, and with loved ones. But ultimately, the mind isn’t just busy solving problems, it’s also cooking up ideas, weaving webs of dreams –– creating a life full of beauty and wonder.

This week’s sensory recommendations include a not-to-be missed exhibit which ends in a couple days, a cozy soup recipe, flowers that feel other-worldly and other delights to entice your senses.

In Joy,

Sabrina

SEE

Find Peace, Keep Peace Issue 3

Zine by Lorenzo Diggins Jr. available online

My friend Kristine recently gave me this zine-newspaper. As someone who creates zines myself, I always appreciate this artful endeavor and the many forms it can take. This particular edition is on the theme of Time. It explores various definitions of time from the perspective of different creative minds.

HEAR

‘Diamond Jubilee’ | album by Cindy Lee

Listen on Bandcamp

I’m so glad my friend

Mason Currey

shared this week the music of Cindy Lee in his newsletter

Subtle Maneuvers

I’ve been listening to the full album on my drives. And what a generous musical odyssey: the album features 32 songs and each one is magnificent.

SMELL

Blue Orchid

I went on a search for blue flowers this week, and came across these magical orchids at the Flower Market. I bought them for a photoshoot (I can’t wait to share more about that project) and took them back home with me. They’ve been infusing our home with an ethereal other-worldly quality.

TASTE

Mulligatawny Soup recipe

Last week, I shared an illustrated letter which included drawings of vegetables for one of my favorite soups. I received a couple emails inquiring about it, so I’m including the full recipe below. I make mine in a vintage crockpot, but you can also make it on the stove:

Ingredients:

Coconut oil or olive oil

1/2 tsp whole cumin seeds

1/2 tsp whole coriander seeds

1/2 tsp whole mustard seeds (I used ¼ tsp of mustard seed powder)

1 yellow onion, chopped

2 garlic cloves, chopped

1 tsp grated ginger

1 serrano chili, slit in half leaving the stem intact

1 Tbsp yellow curry powder

1 carrot, chopped

1 sweet potato, cubed

1 green apple, cubed

4 cups vegetable or chicken broth

1/2 cup red lentils

1 tsp sea salt

1 tomato, chopped

1 can of coconut milk

1/4 cup fresh parsley, chopped

1/4 cup fresh cilantro- leaves and stems, chopped

½ lemon juiced

Method:

- Add coconut or olive oil in a pan on medium heat (unless your crockpot has a sautee function)

- Sauté mustard, coriander seeds and cumin seeds

- Add onion, garlic, ginger, the slit serrano chili, and curry powder. Sauté 4 more minutes.

- Add to instant pot (or regular stove pot), along with carrot, yam, apple, broth, red lentils, sea salt, tomato, and coconut milk.

- 5- 10 minutes before serving, add parsley, cilantro and lemon juice.

- Serve with naan bread or rice.

TOUCH

Natural Blue Dye

For the special project I’ve been working on this week, I created some natural blue dye. To make it, I boiled some red cabbage in a little bit of water, and added baking soda to turn the purple hue into a deeper blue. It’s the same process I use for my natural pigment paintings (featured here).

BALANCE

Live Guided Meditation (Thursday December 12th at 7am)

Register online

A few days ago, I hosted a guided meditation on Zoom, which was lovely. A few people couldn’t make it but asked that I plan another, so I’ll be hosting one next week. This time it’ll be on Thursday at 7am. You can register for free below:

Meditation Sign up

ENVISION

‘Nature Manifesto’ | Exhibit by Björk & Aleph

On view at Centre Pompidou until December 9, 2024

If you’re in Paris, there’s two days left to see this sonic exhibit by Björk and Aleph. Conceived as a post-optimist manifesto, the experience harmonizes Björk’s voice with sounds of extinct and endangered animals.

Here’s the full manifesto, sung by Björk: