Dec 28, 2023·edited Dec 28, 2023Liked by Sabrina Y. Smith
Beautiful essay. I, as a 3rd culture kid, resonate, of course. And then you top it off with the seven senses, which is pure delight. Thank you.
I especially loved this excerpt:
"No place is perfect, of course. It can be tempting to think that our life will be “fixed” elsewhere. As Ram Dass wisely said: “Wherever you go, there you are.” But there is a difference between leaving as a means for escape, and moving intentionally."
Thank you so much Mo 🤍 I’m so glad to hear this hit *home* for you. Interestingly, I received a few email responses to this post and they were all from third culture kids! 🌍
Couldn’t agree more. Our life too has been semi nomadic though anchored by over a decade spent in LA as our daughter was growing up. We are now in London but really embrace the notion of being citizens of nowhere in a positive sense.
I love knowing I’m not alone in this nomadic search for home. 💙 And though I’ve followed along your travels (slowly piecing parts of your life together ;), I’m always learning more (like the fact that you also lived in LA for a decade!). I’d be so curious to hear about what motivated you to leave every time? And how did you choose London in the end?
Aww Rose 🥰 thank you so much. That’s the most meaningful thing a writer can hear: that they’re not alone in their experience, and have made someone else feel less alone. This is one of the many ways to create “home”: through words and invisible connections ✨
I relate so strongly to this. Also a child of divorce, divided between two homes, moved around a lot. Also ended up in Los Angeles, coming up on a decade. It’s only recently, after ten years of marriage and two kids, that I’m starting to get a felt sense of home. But I’ve given up on the idea that any one place will ever fully fulfill that hunger. My heart is forever fractured, with pieces in the mountains of the Midwest, the dense townships of New England, the deserts of Arizona, carried around by the people I still love in those places.
🥹 such a tender feeling, this longing for home J.E. It’s funny where we end up... Would love to chat about what you did to make this city feel like home. Perhaps at our next LA meet up? (I’m thinking of organizing one in January).
The question of “home” and belonging is probably one of the few constants of my life. It’s an ongoing reflection I haven’t quite untangled yet - and I probably never will, and maybe that’s not even the point? I believe it’s become part of my essence, my deep desire for the world and this life. I’ve spent the last 1,5 years without a stable home of my own, traveling and visiting family when I wasn’t on the road, searching for my next steps and, above all, a new version of myself I want to inhabit. I’ve just recently found that spark again, for the first time in a while, so excited (and with a good dose of fear) to create a home - and a life - somewhere, pondering long-term plans, daydreaming of my daily rituals with local friends, allowing my emotional roots to find nourishment in a place and within a budding relationship.
Me too Claudia! And I admire how you seem to have arrived at a place of acceptance that the sense of home may never get untangled and may be besides the point. And I LOVE searching for “a new version of myself to inhabit” — so beautiful ♥️ I’m also curious where you are now thinking of creating a home: Italy? SF?
I’m not gonna lie, a part of me has a hard time accepting it 😅 and feels like I must be doing something wrong and I shall once and for all find some final Answer (yes, with a capital “A”.)
Thank you for asking about my vision ❤️ I would love to create a home in SF :) I’ve just returned from a 90-day “test drive” there (whilst on a sabbatical), not knowing that during my stay I’d meet and fall in love with my partner. I already have a plane ticket for the end of April and I hope I’ll find a way (or a job offer, most likely) to get a visa🤞🏻✨
And NorCal is just so beautiful! Last May, my first time in SF, I visited Tomales Bay and I don’t need to tell you how fascinated I was. Now, a few roadtrips and adventures later, I’m in awe at the amount of magical sceneries one can explore, and they’re just around the corner!
Wonderful share - I especially appreciated the piece on The Flower House in Detroit. In relation to home, having traveled and lived in many different places, there is something to finding contentment in impermanence. To know there is little that you really need and to appreciate that mostly everything else is a luxury and utilized correctly can add to your life (rather than own your life). Thank you for another beautiful piece of resonant writing ✨
Thank you Amethyst! 💎 I’m glad to hear the Flower House in Detroit touched you🌸 I love learning the many ways in which people create a sense of home, through the senses. And I agree: moving around a lot definitely helps one embrace the reality of impermanence. Though that constant search for home never ceases for me...
This deeply resonated with me. Having grown up in my adopted country, I have always felt this sense of "I belong here... and yet not entirely." And now that I split my time between two countries - my country of birth and my adopted country - this jarring sense is even more stronger. I thought I'd feel "at home" in my country of birth, but find that having grown up elsewhere, I feel the same way... "I belong here... and yet not entirely."
Thanks for sharing Lou! ♥️ It’s such a peculiar confusion, shared by those who have known many homes. When home is in two different countries, I feel like that divide is even more deeply felt.
I can relate to this so much Bruno! Rituals are really important to me, helping me recreate a sense of home wherever I go. But I’ve also been told that those who grow up in a lot of instability, tend to use rituals as a means for control... 🤔 (both could be true!)
Beautiful essay. I, as a 3rd culture kid, resonate, of course. And then you top it off with the seven senses, which is pure delight. Thank you.
I especially loved this excerpt:
"No place is perfect, of course. It can be tempting to think that our life will be “fixed” elsewhere. As Ram Dass wisely said: “Wherever you go, there you are.” But there is a difference between leaving as a means for escape, and moving intentionally."
Thank you so much Mo 🤍 I’m so glad to hear this hit *home* for you. Interestingly, I received a few email responses to this post and they were all from third culture kids! 🌍
Couldn’t agree more. Our life too has been semi nomadic though anchored by over a decade spent in LA as our daughter was growing up. We are now in London but really embrace the notion of being citizens of nowhere in a positive sense.
Happy New Year, Sabrina!
I love knowing I’m not alone in this nomadic search for home. 💙 And though I’ve followed along your travels (slowly piecing parts of your life together ;), I’m always learning more (like the fact that you also lived in LA for a decade!). I’d be so curious to hear about what motivated you to leave every time? And how did you choose London in the end?
It’s a long story, or a series of long stories, Sabrina!
This is the most beautiful thing I’ve read in a long time. Thank you for writing a reflection on home in what felt like my very own words!
Aww Rose 🥰 thank you so much. That’s the most meaningful thing a writer can hear: that they’re not alone in their experience, and have made someone else feel less alone. This is one of the many ways to create “home”: through words and invisible connections ✨
Here's to HOME in all its feelings + forms. Happy new year...xx
YESSS! 🙌 In all it’s contradictory feelings and ever-changing forms ♥️ happy new year Christene
I relate so strongly to this. Also a child of divorce, divided between two homes, moved around a lot. Also ended up in Los Angeles, coming up on a decade. It’s only recently, after ten years of marriage and two kids, that I’m starting to get a felt sense of home. But I’ve given up on the idea that any one place will ever fully fulfill that hunger. My heart is forever fractured, with pieces in the mountains of the Midwest, the dense townships of New England, the deserts of Arizona, carried around by the people I still love in those places.
🥹 such a tender feeling, this longing for home J.E. It’s funny where we end up... Would love to chat about what you did to make this city feel like home. Perhaps at our next LA meet up? (I’m thinking of organizing one in January).
Definitely do it. Would love the opportunity to embarrass myself in front of my writing peers again.
The question of “home” and belonging is probably one of the few constants of my life. It’s an ongoing reflection I haven’t quite untangled yet - and I probably never will, and maybe that’s not even the point? I believe it’s become part of my essence, my deep desire for the world and this life. I’ve spent the last 1,5 years without a stable home of my own, traveling and visiting family when I wasn’t on the road, searching for my next steps and, above all, a new version of myself I want to inhabit. I’ve just recently found that spark again, for the first time in a while, so excited (and with a good dose of fear) to create a home - and a life - somewhere, pondering long-term plans, daydreaming of my daily rituals with local friends, allowing my emotional roots to find nourishment in a place and within a budding relationship.
Me too Claudia! And I admire how you seem to have arrived at a place of acceptance that the sense of home may never get untangled and may be besides the point. And I LOVE searching for “a new version of myself to inhabit” — so beautiful ♥️ I’m also curious where you are now thinking of creating a home: Italy? SF?
I’m not gonna lie, a part of me has a hard time accepting it 😅 and feels like I must be doing something wrong and I shall once and for all find some final Answer (yes, with a capital “A”.)
Thank you for asking about my vision ❤️ I would love to create a home in SF :) I’ve just returned from a 90-day “test drive” there (whilst on a sabbatical), not knowing that during my stay I’d meet and fall in love with my partner. I already have a plane ticket for the end of April and I hope I’ll find a way (or a job offer, most likely) to get a visa🤞🏻✨
Ooooo LOVE! 😍 that often makes a place home (happened to me too ;) i really love Northern California and have often dreamt of relocating there 🌲
And NorCal is just so beautiful! Last May, my first time in SF, I visited Tomales Bay and I don’t need to tell you how fascinated I was. Now, a few roadtrips and adventures later, I’m in awe at the amount of magical sceneries one can explore, and they’re just around the corner!
I definitely feel the strongest (and most heart-warming) sense of home when I’m with the people I love and care about, that’s for sure :)
Wonderful share - I especially appreciated the piece on The Flower House in Detroit. In relation to home, having traveled and lived in many different places, there is something to finding contentment in impermanence. To know there is little that you really need and to appreciate that mostly everything else is a luxury and utilized correctly can add to your life (rather than own your life). Thank you for another beautiful piece of resonant writing ✨
Thank you Amethyst! 💎 I’m glad to hear the Flower House in Detroit touched you🌸 I love learning the many ways in which people create a sense of home, through the senses. And I agree: moving around a lot definitely helps one embrace the reality of impermanence. Though that constant search for home never ceases for me...
This deeply resonated with me. Having grown up in my adopted country, I have always felt this sense of "I belong here... and yet not entirely." And now that I split my time between two countries - my country of birth and my adopted country - this jarring sense is even more stronger. I thought I'd feel "at home" in my country of birth, but find that having grown up elsewhere, I feel the same way... "I belong here... and yet not entirely."
Thanks for sharing Lou! ♥️ It’s such a peculiar confusion, shared by those who have known many homes. When home is in two different countries, I feel like that divide is even more deeply felt.
Great post, thanks. For me, the sense of home comes from small everyday rituals because I can always find myself in them.
I can relate to this so much Bruno! Rituals are really important to me, helping me recreate a sense of home wherever I go. But I’ve also been told that those who grow up in a lot of instability, tend to use rituals as a means for control... 🤔 (both could be true!)
Ah! I had never heard of the relationship between growing up in instability and rituals but it makes a lot of sense in my case. Thanks for sharing!