A Haircut Can Save a Life

Present Sense № 15

Welcome to Present Sense – a weekend curation for Paid Subscribers – with 7 sensory recommendations: something to SEE, HEAR, SMELL, TASTE, TOUCH, BALANCE and ENVISION. Each week also includes an audio guided meditation. 

Hairdressers probably save more lives than doctors. 

As a child, I wanted to pursue a profession that would have a positive impact on the world. Like many millennials, I was driven by “making a difference.” I placed doctors, reporters, and diplomats on the pedestal of do-gooders. I strived to be one of them. 

I assumed grand gestures lead to the biggest changes. But I’m continuously reminded that the deepest shifts can come from small acts, unassuming words, within imperceptible moments. 

My partner got a haircut this week and returned with a wise story. His hairdresser recounted an experience she had decades ago, when she was first starting her career. A customer came in one afternoon for a haircut. Once he sat on her chair and she had wrapped the towel around his neck, he solemnly said: “Today, I was either getting a haircut or killing myself.” 

Shocked and unsure what to respond, she gently combed his hair and lent her ear. For the next hour, while she washed, chopped, and brushed, he shared his story. She listened intently, occasionally nodding or meeting his gaze in the mirror. When he was done, she looked him in the eyes and told him she was glad he had chosen to get a haircut. 

Months later, he showed up at the salon with a giant bouquet. “Thank you, you saved my life,” he told her, handing her the flowers. 

It’s hard to measure the impact we have on other people’s lives. Bouquets rarely show up to confirm our good deeds. We tend to either undervalue or overestimate the effect our actions have. We believe that digging a well in a village across the world is more meaningful than smiling at a stranger in our neighborhood – but our actions need not be grandiose.

Those who have gone through a near-death-experience (NDE), whether due to a severe injury or an induced coma, will often report experiencing a “life review.” One particular case comes to mind: the story of Nancy Rynes. Following a traumatic accident, her heartbeat stopped on the surgery table for a few minutes, before she returned to life. 

She describes what happened during those few minutes of death, including a review of various moments of her life. She was able to witness those experiences, not only from her perspective but also from the standpoint of the person she interacted with – “getting to see both sides of the story.” In this way, she was able to truly feel how the other person had felt, the ways in which her behavior has harmed or helped others.

The snapshots she reviewed were seemingly “small”: an argument with her sister, a conversation with a stranger, etc. But those mundane moments had a profound ripple effect. 

One of those instances was an exchange she had with a store clerk. It was during a busy Christmas season, and many of the customers had been impatient and unkind with the woman at the register. When it was Nancy’s turn, she took a moment to appreciate the clerk, compliment her work, and wished her a happy holiday.

It seemed so banal to Nancy, but in her life review she witnessed how her kind words contributed to changing the course of the evening for that woman. The store clerk finished her work in a cheerful spirit, which she carried with her home, enabling her to enjoy the holidays with her family. 

Hopefully, we don’t need to have a brush with death to realize how we’re profoundly interconnected. We all have our moments of existential doubt: when we wonder whether our actions have any significance on the world. But a kind word, a thoughtful gesture, a moment of grace can change the course of a day, and even a life. We don’t need to move mountains to make a difference — our very presence has a ripple effect.

This week’s 7 sensory recommendations includes a magic show; a love letter puzzle, and a guided meditation on intention; amongst other enchantments.

In Joy,

Sabrina